I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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