I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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