and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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