Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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