I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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