her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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