we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
she woke up with a sticky ear
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
