I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
