May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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