I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
