I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize