No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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