why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
