i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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