I think I won the penis lottery.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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