we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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