You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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