My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize