apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
