I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
