You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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