Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
nutella sex= disaster
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
