I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
either way he was missing a nipple.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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