True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
