We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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