He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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