Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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