You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
