i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
