i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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