Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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