when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
