first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
