she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
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