dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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