The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
