I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
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