Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
