oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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