He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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