Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I think my fart just growled at me.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
