if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I forgot wine drunk hurts
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
