Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
