2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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