Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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