shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
