I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
