STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
