wanna go halves on a baby?
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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