What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
