You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
