Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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