Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
