This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
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