she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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