I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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