you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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