I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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